So yeah... had a nice Blue Muhfukka the size of your head (thanx to Marcus) and honestly i was drunk... empty stomach plus a 32 oz drink filled 4/5ths full of just liquor (and others) = DONE!
Its like 12 liquors in 1...(Cept mine was waaay bigger)^^ Yessir (c) Pharrell
Now... time to address the above statement.
Yeah.. honestly I died a looooooooooooooooong time ago... and got tired wit my Jabbawockee ass mask I been carryin wit me these past couple of months.
Ive heard from more than 1 person that they want the sweet, caring me back.... yeah that one died bout a 1 1/2- 2 months ago...
^It'd look like that. :D
Here Lies:
Larry LaMorris Page II
(August 31, 1986- June 20, July 12, August 5, Yout get the idea, 2008)
I can prolly say it started with the seasons of DuckTales episodes. But thats not the entire story. After holding my tongue, being the sweet person I was, trying to move on and accept my faults that were being commented on on a weekly basis, I can honestly say that I am the only reason Im where I am now lol. I held it all in for some reason. Now since the sweet person I was had to endure thru the world's bout with dysentery. Pretty much those close to me treated me like Charmin fam! and now im crazy! Holding in all those angry, crazy moments for the sake of avoiding drama, but never truely saying what I wanted or acting how I prolly shouldve in situations began to eat away at me, and instead of saying or doing something about it.. i held it the phuck in... until....
Until all the emotions spilled the phuck over. World, welcome to the fallout!
Not going to allow myself to be manipulated, played, shitted on, guilt tripped, whatever. That filter is pretty much gone now. I give no fuck. Period. Night out (well hr and a half lol) wit my guys makes me Hitler. OK. Going to get a friend in need makes me gay. If u say so. Dont really know what youve got till its gone. Now that its gone, the world must deal with me now, till i let that other guy come back. And theres been alot of shovel work put in so itll be a while. Yep people get back burnered which is why im defending them, rushing to their aid, or speding every waking moment with/talking to them. Maybe im crazy, it just seems that there would be no problems since in nearly 10 months theres only been like 12 days not seeing each other.
Ive been allowing things I said I wouldnt, cause I saw the bigger picture. But now its starting to overshadow all of that. Im in the wrong for that, yet when its reversed and im waiting i held my tongue lol. Goin to see a movie w/ a friend, cool. Hang with your friends, were together all the time, see your people n have fun. Until, That turns into 3 movies n food and a walking trip, yet I dont say shit and thats totally on me. I show up 4 hrs after we agreed on cause spur of the moment events are whats hot in the streets. Having 1 drink with a friend = complete alienation AND NOW I FEEL CRAZY! With each irrationality I just feel angrier and angrier and crazier and crazier, and i cant really see straight rite now... chest hurts, and im bout to Benoit someone in a sec.
Now I get it!
It really is sad that ive made such a drastic change in these past 10 months... especially in this past month and a half. It really has been downhill for me since Mid/Late June. Then this past month didnt help at all, drama, breakups, screaming, more crazy feeling, its just been bad for me. But those words of wisdom: "If you aint thought about killin a muhfukka, then you aint in love" (c) Chris Rock.
And I get it, in order to have control, you must control the situation. The easiest way, control all of the information that is being filtered in. Taylor situations to your advantage.
But maybe I went in too too open. Always keep yourself #1 cause your #2 might do just that.
But excuse my crazy rant...lol. Its just life, what fun is life if you cant lose yourself in it :)
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